Funeral Service – Holy Angels Hale Barns Altrincham Cheshire
John
We wanted to start off proceedings by saying some thanks.
Mum and Dad would have loved this politeness
….. irony in fact that it is me being the polite one.
Actually would have preferred us to write individual thank you letters to everyone of you.
.. don’t want to go down that track
me sending you a thank you , you sending me a letter back,…..before we know it we are buying each other chocolate/ plants and then going on holiday together.
Appreciate that everyone in the room has been impacted or will be impacted by parents passing away…..unfortunately for me and my friends it appears that that is happening all too frequently …. Thoughts to you all
Whilst we all understand that this is life it doesn’t make it feel any easier….but what helps is the love and support .
Overwhelmed with turnout.
Felt so privileged to have spent so much time with dad, especially in last 6months just lying in bed chatting ….
I even told him that I enjoyed him being ill!!!
At some point during our conversations during the last six months probably discussed majority of you in room in one form or another.
My memories in particular when he would ask about my mates
Both used to get so frustrated with each other as he couldn’t remember the numerous nicknames so would always start an enquiry the same way…
How is :
the bald one (could have been anyone of them), the solicitor, the retired one/ golfer, the Irish Builder.
Personal thank you to my friends
My dad realised that he knew how strong a network of support we all had and he was proud of that.
He knew he had taught us all to value family and friendships as he had done.
Again thanks to friends of all of ours who have travelled to be here today and will support us all over the days, months,years.
I would like to thank my brothers and sister.
Very fortunate to be close (maybe not in terms of distance) …zoom every week with dad. . which will continue
Saying on behalf of all of us to each other. Love you and thanks.
Same thanks goes to whole family and in laws… dad was proud of us all and our partners.
Sad that Theo, Regina, Chris, Jack and Harry can’t be here.
….and I also need to say to my siblings that I appreciate how difficult it is to know that I was his favourite all these years.
Dad has not surprisingly outlived most of his friendship groups but there are people we have known throughout our lives (Roger/Lois, Brian Shirley etc) whose children are here to pay respects….only Whisty left from the old gang…. been great seeing you so much. Dad said he “loved” your last visit.
Made many friends through sports and hobbies all too many to mention at tennis club and through bridge.., Gillian, Roger,.Christine ..thanks you….please keep bringing biscuits!!
Cant mention everyone in person so apologies for that…but Fred has been his best mate and I know you will miss him dearly. Important friendship in so many ways.
Whether you like it or not you are part of the Nodding family.
Received so many letters from
Ex colleagues , teachers , governors , pupils …
I certain he would like us to thank you on his behalf for making his job so rewarding and enjoyable…..he must have liked it as he was still working up to the age of 95!!
Dad loved the house and the neighbours and was determined not to leave. Sadly many passed away this year (Mr Mohammed) Support network there has been phenomenal. The family would like to say a specific thank you to Jamil and his whole family. Thank you truly for all support and help. Amazing.
Smoking house / burning bacon
Selfishly I’ve got this opportunity to thanks Liesa and the kids. How important and valued they all made my dad feel in his latter years. It wasn’t a chore for them to go to GDads , I had them clamouring to come and see him….maybe the chocolate and money helped!!
Finish off
when a friend recently said to me at another parents funeral …amazing that he has got to 96 …..but I’m sorry to say this but I’m actually jealous as I didn’t get to spend the same time with my dad
Me, family and all of you were so lucky to have had him for so long…..and will try not to be sad and hope he is with my mum and all the gang!!
Over to the funniest of the siblings……oh that’s Phil apparently
Phil:
I’m sure most of you can empathise with our loss and those first instances when the reality sinks in. It came for me last month, when the Lions won the 2nd test. I automatically grabbed my phone and dialed dad to celebrate with him (and probably his best mate Fred). And then realised those moments were gone.
Dad had great relationships with all 5 of us – but it was also obvious that John and Liesa and their family had an incredibly relaxed and close connection. Part grandad but more of a real friend.
I think being a great dad and grandad was a skill he learnt throughout his long and happy life.
Learning is the theme of my lesson today.
Dad was such a Peter Pan character – and I don’t mean just because he was small. He was always so youthful looking, so full of life. So involved and ever present in our lives Ubiquitous.
Ubiquitous. From the Latin ‘Ubique’ meaning ‘everywhere’. ‘Uni’ meaning ‘where’ and ‘que’ a particle indicating ‘and’ or ‘each’
Battman, I can see you… stop fidgeting boy! See me after school!
Dad would have loved the irony of me teaching Latin! (Much to his disgust I barely scraped a grade 9 at O Level!)
He was a man who absolutely valued ‘learning’. Education gave him his big break in life. It fascinated him. It provided him with a respectable living. It gave him the opportunity to impact on literally thousands of lives. He believed that knowledge was a force for good in the world. He was frustrated when he saw someone (well, usually me) wasting opportunities to learn and better yourself. But he had faults…
One of the few things that dad failed to learn properly were the dangers of working at height. Particularly on top of a wobbly ladder doing the guttering or ivy. A friend from Nottingham drove over to dad’s one weekend and was outranged to find John and I casually leaning on a large ladder whilst our 89 year old father was at the top with the blocked guttering. “Well, you try telling him to come down” we challenged him – but then my mate was distracted by the bright purple handbag that my dad was precariously holding in his free hand.
(He never learnt the ‘3 points of contact rule’ from step-ladder training.) It’s for his tools, of course, we explained. Dad was fiercely independent, stubborn and uninsurable. And had a dreadful taste in handbags.
His only concession to Health and Safety was that he would wear extra baggy shorts ( the type made popular by Don Estelle and Eric Morecambe) in the hope that if he fell off they’d act like mini parachutes to cushion his fall.
He left a number of notebooks – and they are filled with beautifully written notes on a huge range of subjects – not just what he taught – Latin and History – but also astronomy, poetry, Italian Language, music, authors, quotations. He also left (at Rebecca’s insistence, a potted history of his life that has been brilliant to read and helped us today. We will put some details on a web site for those interested after today.)
In his notes he reflected that he had enjoyed three particular elements of good fortune. He was extremely lucky to have met my mum at Durham University. He was lucky to have never faced unemployment like his dad had. And he was very fortunate to have not been asked to go to war – as he had witnessed the results of its devastation.
He was born between the 2 wars during the Great Depression in a small town called Copley in County Durham. Feb 11th 1929. He delighted in telling us he was born 3 days before the infamous St Valentine’s Day Massacre by Al Capone in Chicago. A ruthless gangland killing that was famously retold in the opening sequence of the Marylyn Monroe comedy ’Some Like It Hot’.
It is also a film that I remember fondly from the late 60s when dad would screen films for the staff and boys at the grammar school (and we’d sneak in as usual.)
His parents were struggling and poor but always provided. Aged 9 he caught rheumatic fever and spent almost a year in bed and this is where his passion for reading intensified. When he recovered, his prowess in his history and English eventually helped win him a scholarship to Barnard Castle School where he excelled at study and sport – particularly cricket and rugby.
Whilst at Barnard Castle the Second World War raged. He was too young to serve but did his national service just after the war. Training in Scotland then being posted to Austria to look after displaced persons and drive trucks into the divided city of Vienna. He was a bit of a innocent young man, but being garrisoned with some pretty wild and unruly veterans of the Black Watch he grew up quickly, was promoted to corporal, learned to drive and to ski and found a passion for travel.
Discharged in 1949 he was able to finally take up his place at Durham University to study classics and history.
For dad’s 90th birthday we organised for a gang of us to return to Durham and he delighted in showing us his old rooms that were actually in the walls of the old castle. My kids thought it was like Hogwarts. We could sense how important to him that place was. Friends, adventures, sporting prowess – he’d obviously revelled in the experience and made lifelong friends that included the dashing RAF pilot Bryan Scrivener and his wife Shirley. He stayed on an extra year to get his teaching qualification then applied for his first proper job ever – in some town in the North West called Altrincham. Kate and I came across his original 1953 job references and they were sparkling.
Over to Kate. She was definitely Dad’s favourite daughter.
Kate:
In dad’s diary he noted that the years 1954 and 1955 were amongst the happiest years of his life. He threw himself into his new job at the boys grammar school, played tennis and cricket and then mum moved over as they started married life in digs – not 700 yards from here.
Holy Angels was our church from when it was built and St. Ambrose the school his sons and grandsons attended. Later in life dad was a highly regarded governor.
The Grammar school though, was his life, and became ours too. He spent most weekends there overseeing the sports teams, as well as many hours after lessons had finished. In early years he valued the mentorship of older staff like Reggie Thompson, who had kept the school going throughout the War years, and dad, in turn, went on to mentor others. He organised history, rugby and cricket tours around the country and beyond.
But it was the task of the dreaded timetable that loomed large in our household each year. (A gargantuan months long task that entailed dad swearing at a huge colourful pin -covered board of suduko-level complexity. This vital task, in retrospect, seems to have been a rite of passage – akin to a Roman Emperor marking his successor!
In 1966 he rather bravely took the whole family to the US on a year’s teacher exchange to Leavenworth Kansas. It was a time of great change in post-Kennedy America- civil riots and Vietnam War and an amazing time to bear witness. Dad taught American history at Leavenworth High, and had to work very long hours preparing lessons on subjects that were completely new to him. The rave testimonials in the high school year books bear witness to his success – and also to his popularity (not least, with the female students!
It was a huge adventure that was wholeheartedly embraced by both him and mum. We travelled for 8 weeks of summer holidays in our Dodge, camping around swathes of America and going to places like Abilene, Dodge city, and Oklahoma-the stuff of his favourite westerns. His interest in American history and politics lasted all his life and his opinions and perspective on national and international events were always inciteful.
When we returned from the US, family and work life changed. The family grew with the births of Mike and then John, and dad was appointed first as deputy head and then subsequently, most unusually at the same school, Head of Altrincham Grammar.
He had lots of funny stories from school days but one I loved was about a newsagent in Altrincham who complained about 3 third year boys who were regularly stealing sweets from his shop, He was delighted and they got the shock of their lives when, the following day, they were caught red-handed by dad leaping up from behind the counter, and frog-marching them down to school. The story went round like wildfire and his reputation as someone not to be messed with was made!
I wouldn’t want anyone to go away thinking he wasn’t fun either! He had a great sense of humour, loved comedy (many Sunday lunches were spent listening and laughing to Round the Horn at the dinner table) and seemed to revert to childhood when with their great friends Arthur, Whisty, Lois and Roger and co with whom they had such wonderful parties, weekends away, and holidays too many to mention.
He came on holiday with us for years after 2008 and he particularly enjoyed our children’s weddings in Italy, dancing until late in the evening (having taken time out the day before to, of course, see the battlefield of Hannibal’s victory at Trasimeno) and at Farnham Castle where he charmed everyone with his speech and conversation, but still found time to get a perspective on a Civil War battlefield. He will be sorely missed at those family weddings to come.
When I think of dad my overwhelming emotions, from a young age, were love and pride. We were all aware that he had not come from privilege. At school my girlfriends were impressed by his youth and good looks. The boys I knew from Altrincham Grammar School were either impressed with him and his sporting prowess, – or terrified of him! Everyone knew he had a wide and deep breadth of knowledge (although what he knew of science could be written on a postage stamp!) . He would have been our “phone a friend” for sure. I remember being so proud of his stage performance in the school’s HMS Pinafore -as was 4 year old Phil who shouted from the gallery “that’s my daddy!!!”. He was only in the chorus!
Dad was a great speaker. Although well- known for his competitiveness he had a great sense of fair play and for being a good loser – although the only time I ever recall seeing him lose was to a 4 year old Andy at table tennis (and that was not easy!)
I am so proud of the way forever he looked after people-colleagues and friends (especially those in adversity) with gifts, letters (always beautifully written), cards or flowers and, most of all, time to listen. The most pride I have felt (and I speak for us all) was in the way he carried on after mum died. He devoted his life to friends and family and especially his grandkids despite his heartbreak.
We all know how lucky we were that Dad was so “with it” to the end and had time to say his farewells with such affection and humour. In his last conversation with John he told him how much he loved him…and then, after a brief pause, that his only regret was that John hadn’t been better at football!- a joke I think but a sentiment with which his friends here probably concur!
Andy
Dad would love our being together in such an appropriate setting, but would hate being the focus of attention.
Although he would be humbled by the interest, love and respect shown today – ultimately, this simply reflects the way he lived his life and upheld his values made a difference.
Both mum and dad were great teachers. Mum had the upper hand when it came to a sense of fun and imaginative storytelling and fictional literature was her passion.
Dad’s passion for learning – came from the classics, politics, language and his obvious love of history and what it can – or should – teach us. We each have that love of literature & learning.
However, it’s fair to say, as you’re no doubt witnessing, compared to my wonderful siblings, I bring the cultural standard down – and – before you say it, not just because I am Australian.
My literary memories go back to dad’s bedtime reading about tales of adventure – or triumph over adversity – so classics to me are books like White Fang & Treasure Island.
And my favourite – Little Pete stories. Dad reading these remain most vivid – always funny, about childhood escapade – and each ending – “That was another good day!”
Dad loved many things but became most animated with his love of family, friends, Alty Grammar, his garden and his sport. Though – to paraphrase Eric Morecombe – not necessarily in same order.
As the five of us were reminiscing, AGS played such an important part in our lives (should have worn patches on my sleeves as a tribute too).
All teaching staff made us feel so welcome. I can still visualise the corridors, worn steps, pictures in the staff room and witnessing the silly staffroom pranks.
Dad’s influence was everywhere – school plays, watching Saturday games, camping trips, concerts. He seemed incessant in with his work – before & after school, marking, schedule planning, organising & hospital or home visits to staff and pupils unwell.
AGS was where he taught us tennis (not to say competitiveness) & we played all the time – certainly on holiday and usually at the hottest part of the day! Mad dogs and all that!
I don’t know about the others, but I never did beat him at tennis. Once – in Australia – I thought my chance had come. I lost the first set 6-4 but he was in his late 70’s, it was hot. Dad agreed to second set saying – “OK. I will push you this set” – to be honest John, what he actually said was, “because you’re my favourite …..”.
But let’s be clear – he wasn’t proving a point. Simply developing and challenging me to grow. He knew the time for real competitiveness – as his own very understated sporting achievements testify. His interest was not to win – obviously he did.
My connection through sport commenced in Leavenworth where he taught me to swim. He encouraged me to paddle to him but then kept moving backwards – given his height – not quite sure how – but always urging me on with my success his focus (I hope it’s purely coincidence that this was the last time he ever went swimming).
I shared his love of rugby, cricket (I even played with him once at AGS – am sure he ran me out). He took me to OT for the first time and when family reminisce about Xmas it’s about games, food, occasion, M&W. For me it was always BD football – an allcomers game at Arthur & Whisty’s.
On one visit back, everyone else out & Dad & I stayed at K&H to watch 5 nations, I was touched when he asked whether he should retire and while there was obvious concern about him not working – it was so inspiring to see him then enjoy such a fulfilled and active, independent life.
He was always an understated influence. A suggestion, a recommendation – never telling or expecting. Always there always our choice.
We are blessed to have parents that espoused empathy, equity, commitment, fun, learning, and the importance of others.
We are most proud in the consistent opinion that dad was fair, stoic, honest, caring, intelligent and quick witted – with immense work ethic and integrity.
But – you didn’t want to cross him. Just a glance, a quietness, a look – that’s all he needed. You knew!
But dad was & is best described as a true gentleman.
A significant & obvious change in dad came after mum sadly died.
His grief for her never waned & was both touching & tragic – but while he could have easily regressed – he did what he did. He worked hard. He adapted, learned new things, and ensured he achieved something every day. He simply got it done.
Interestingly, he became more open, softer. He so loved his GC & GGC & “in-laws” (they – you – simply inspired). He tried new things simply to connect with you – to stay relevant I suppose – and developed a willingness to try new, international foods & adventurous, exotic cuisine – or as we all call it – Mr Yeungs Chinese takeaway.
He showed us the need for a purpose & standard of behaviour – to achieve things – with the intent, I think, for us all to learn so we can apply and achieve the same so we too can say, each and everyday, “and that was another good day”.
Thank you for allowing us to share what bonds us but with individual reflections – Mike has kindly agreed to take the hard task of helping us conclude our thoughts at the crematorium – he will be supported by Joe W speaking on behalf of the GC & GGC – this is an opportunity for family & close friends to say farewell.
For anyone else not attending the crematorium we look forward to joining you at the SAH where we invite you all to celebrate dads life with us – where we will also have one of dads colleagues say a few words.
Mike:
Many of you have already spoken so wonderfully about Dad’s life, his achievements, and his impact on us all. I couldn’t add much to those tributes, but on a personal note, I will try anyway.
Dad had an extraordinary and meaningful life. As the Roman statesman and philosopher Seneca put it—a sentiment he would have appreciated:
“Vita si uti scias, longa est.”
(Life, if you know how to use it, is long.)
And he certainly knew how to use it.
A life like his is hard to sum up, but I can speak of the impact he had on me at least. The home he and Mum made for us was a place we always returned to, appreciating it more with every visit.
While my three much older siblings had their defining family moment in the year spent in the US, that all happened before John and I were even born. To be honest, we got sick of them banging on about it (not really!) By that time, Mum and Dad had settled down to life at Tanyard Drive, where we stayed. It was a happy home they made for us; relaxed and safe, with loads of theirs and our friends nearby.
Me and Dad had our differences and banged heads for a while, but we managed to make up and have a good relationship. Perhaps just down to us both getting older and slightly less stubborn, helped, of course, by Mum’s calming influence on us both before and after she left us.
He was a softy at heart, never over the top, and just let me figure things out. He once told me he felt guilty for being too consumed by work and for not talking to me enough. I reassured him that I was just an idiot he couldn’t really expel. He was a steady and supportive influence on me, and an affectionate and caring father-in-law and grandad. My son, Theo, had a great connection with his grandad too, having picked up the history bug along the way, returning from a UK visit with a large, fairly heavy book from dad about Vietnam. I somehow ended up working for years in Education, so the old man just couldn’t stop influencing me. Even though I wasn’t the sporty one in the family, I recall having preparatory tennis lessons and almost putting up something of a fight when we played in Australia. He was in his late, still youthful 70s but obviously still thrashed me, with genuinely helpful pointers along the way for where i’d gone wrong.
I have so many fond memories: his back tickles and bedtime reading, and our holidays in Wales and France in a dangerously packed, no-seatbelt Wolseley. There was the giving us (almost) free rein in the grammar school gym to play footy with our mates. I remember him leaving his Rothmans around so curious teenagers could steal them to try in the shed, and having to cover up playing football and cricket on his beloved lawn when he was out. I loved that in his final letter, he said we could all now play on it—the only trouble is, now we’d all get injured. I also fondly remember him visiting us in Australia with mum, where he could get a proper roasting from the sun, just the way we knew he liked it.
His reassuring presence will be greatly missed, but he and Mum set us all up and really couldn’t have been better parents. It was a privilege to have been able to talk (sometimes argue!) with him and help with his care as we knew he was nearing the end of his life.
He was always fair, dependable, had our backs, and was usually calm—though sometimes a bit obsessed! I still feel like I need to visit Little Budworth for some reason! And I have a list of books he recommended that I need to work through. I’m going to miss his book tips; I always enjoyed what he suggested, and whenever I expressed an interest in something when we chatted, he would always come up with a reading list, often with pieces from a long time ago!
He was kind, and he had integrity… he also drove way too fast.
While Dad amazed us all with his strength since Mum died, he never fully recovered; a part of him was missing. They were a pair, and now we can say farewell to them both with peace and a deep appreciation for all they gave to us.
I think this poem by Ralph Waldo Emerson speaks to the kind of man Dad was, and I feel it’s a sentiment both he and Mum would have appreciated:
“Success”
To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
To earn the approbation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a happy child,
A garden patch, or a redeemed social condition;
To know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.
I know you knew how much we all loved you Dad. Rest in peace with Mum and go easy on her if there is a game of doubles on the other side.
Video of crematorium service
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AGS notice
Keith Nodding
11.2.1929 – 20.7.2025.
It with great sadness that we have to announce the death of Keith Nodding, a previous Altrincham Grammar School for Boys Head Master, Deputy Headmaster and teacher who has passed away peacefully at the age of 96.
Keith Nodding came to AGSB as a newly qualified teacher in 1953 straight from Durham University and retired forty years later in 1993. Apart from one year on an exchange programme to the USA (where he taught history and classics at Leavenworth High School in Kansas), Keith devoted his whole career to AGSB. A keen sportsman, he played tennis, squash, cricket and rugby, spending many extra-curricular hours taking the rugby and cricket teams.
Keith was born in Eggleston in County Durham in 1929 (a few days before the infamous ‘Saint Valentine’s Massacre’ he would delight in telling!), and in 1940 won a scholarship to Barnard Castle School where he excelled. After A Levels he, like every other 18 year old, was obliged to do national service. In 1947 he spent the year in the army stationed in Austria, driving supply lorries into Vienna through the Russian Zone as the city was divided between the Allies (much like Berlin.)
In 1949 he left the army to study at Durham where he met his future wife Jean. He studied Latin and History and then stayed on to do a PGCE before starting his first job at AGSB under Head Master – Mr Crowther.
Keith remembers those early years as the ‘time of his life’. He didn’t look much older than most of the boys he was teaching and revelled in the excitement of the sports teams, particularly rugby and cricket, and took many of the school trips, digs and camps. He was a strict but respected and well-liked teacher whose dedication and love of his subjects was obvious to all.
He was committed, competent and punctilious according to his colleagues and in 1978 these qualities were recognised when he was appointed first Deputy Headmaster of AGSB. When Mr Bickers left in 1987, he accepted the challenge of the role of Head Master, although he insisted on keeping a significant teaching load, as it was interaction with the students that gave him the most satisfaction. He led the school through a period of change and improvement and happily retired in 1993 after 40 satisfying years to enjoy his squash and tennis, as well as travelling with his wife and visiting his 5 children.
He lived in Hale Barns, loved watching Sale Sharks, played tennis at Bowden Tennis Club, and was a governor at both Altrincham Prep School and at St Ambrose College where all four of his sons studied. He enjoyed both AGSB and Durham University reunions and he dedicated his last years to being a great grandad and great-grandad. He will be greatly missed by family, friends, ex colleagues and ex pupils. A funeral date has yet to be decided but details will be made public in due course.
RIP Keith.